On love

I have always wanted to write on this subject. It is something that affects me deeply and for everyone else (that is willing to admit it). Love is the essence for any meaningful relationships and being human, relationships are critical, not only to ensure the survival for the next generation, but more than that, to also have a more fulfilling and gratifying life. Being someone who technically have failed all relationships, I am always inclined to understand love, what it does, how to have it and how to lose it all and survive.

The very essence of romance is uncertainty.  ~ Oscar Wilde

"If you pour a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable. But if you pour the salt into a river, people can continue to draw the water to cook, wash, and drink. The river is immense, and it has the capacity to receive, embrace, and transform. When our hearts are small, our understanding and compassion are limited, and we suffer. We can’t accept or tolerate others and their shortcomings, and we demand that they change. But when our hearts expand, these same things don’t make us suffer anymore. We have a lot of understanding and compassion and can embrace others. We accept others as they are, and then they have a chance to transform.When we feed and support our own happiness, we are nourishing our ability to love. That’s why to love means to learn the art of nourishing our happiness.Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love. "-  Zen Buddhist monk, teacher, and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh

At times, when I am a cynic, I see love as the bedrock for other negative emotions. It is only you when you love that you miss someone. You only feel lonely when you have nobody to love you. You are only jealous when someone else shares your love or even have the thought of it. Yet, I know and realise that love is something that brings all three important emotions in life as well: desire, pleasure and pain. 

To love is to suffer.To avoid suffering, one must not love.But then one suffers from not loving.Therefore, to love is to suffer.Not to love is to suffer.To suffer is to suffer.To be happy is to love.To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy.Therefore, to be unhappy one must love,or love to suffer,|or suffer from too much happiness...I hope you're getting this down.

As humans, we cannot be happy alone. We need others to validate ourselves and to validate our feelings. Its quite probable that when we love someone, we are more in love of what the other person think of us, which in turn, actually makes us in love with our own selves. 

Nobody wants to be lonely but at the same time we cannot ask people to become intimate with us for no reason. We can never force others to love us. Thus, we have to love to be loved. But being in love makes us vulnerable.  For it is in love that we find the greatest of strengths and the deepest of sorrows. Love can seem to be so fleeting and unachievable, yet it remains well within our reach. 

But it is not an exact science. Unrequited love is a recurrent theme in any genre of music or movies as it's one of the most painful feeling a human can endure. Some love happens without us even knowing it. Some relationships that lasted for years may not have the same kind of love when it started. It is not a constant and it is undefinable exactly. Some of the best love stories are not about people in love at all. Is love merely a feeling or the actions that describes it? If someone has the feeling of love but does not do anything to convey those feelings of love, does he/she really love?

There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words " I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words. We say take care or don't drive too fast or be good.

Like life, every love will one day end. Everyone you love will either reject you or die one day. Love is not necessary for living, like water or oxygen, but is rather the accomplishment of life. 

Then there is the other question. What is true love? What if you have loved more than one person in your life thus which is the true love? Is the love we are feeling now true love and if it's not, what is it then? Because love is as intense an emotion as one gets, it occasionally leads us to make poor choices – choices that are hurtful to the ones we love.

When love scars, it cuts deep. The pain isn’t easily forgotten and usually cannot be willfully forgotten. When you hurt the woman you love enough, she won’t come back to you. And,  because you still love her, you wouldn’t take her back even if she asked you to. Women never cease to fascinate me: she’ll give you her heart the second she feels that you will keep it safe and won’t step all over it, but as soon as you take it out of the safe and scuff it, she’s on to the next one. Women are commodities that always remain in high demand.

Sometimes we feel empty; we feel a vacuum, a great lack of something. We don’t know the cause; it’s very vague, but that feeling of being empty inside is very strong. We expect and hope for something much better so we’ll feel less alone, less empty. The desire to understand ourselves and to understand life is a deep thirst. There’s also the deep thirst to be loved and to love. We are ready to love and be loved. It’s very natural. But because we feel empty, we try to find an object of our love. Sometimes we haven’t had the time to understand ourselves, yet we’ve already found the object of our love. When we realize that all our hopes and expectations of course can’t be fulfilled by that person, we continue to feel empty. You want to find something, but you don’t know what to search for. In everyone there’s a continuous desire and expectation; deep inside, you still expect something better to happen.

Love don’t happen to us. We fall in love and we fall out of it because we each made the choice. 





Well, if you are reading this up to now, it probably means that you don't feel completely loved or that someone doesn't completely feel completely feel loved by you. Otherwise, you won't ponder on it. It's only when something is lacking that we begin to analyze and contemplate the meaning of it. A person who is full of life wouldn't have so much thought about existentialism compared to a person who is constantly depressed and lonely.